Homeschooling is an ever evolving process. it took me some time to figure out that the typical teaching methods of planned units was less effective. Between differing interest and grade levels, it made it hard to reach both kiddos. It was difficult to give up my neurotic tendencies to plan and control everything. I began taking up rabbit trails as they came along. Watching I can't begin to tell the number of times I've been asked "when' do my kids do school. It's as if their learning is a scheduled item, something to be checked off. While we do do certain things like practicing reading or math and typing skills, (usually first thing in the morning) there is no definite school time. I would like to think that learning really happens all day long. Sometimes its cooking together, other times its when we're at the store pricing out items we need. There are those time with other homeschool friends when I'm nearby and can help smooth social interactions and we can talk about what we learn
My little helper setting the schedule for the day!
Earning money by caring for some pets while their owners were away. While there we had a lucky find of a palo verde beetle who was sadly nearing the end of life. It's the biggest bug we've ever caught.
Fun at the park, even Leora suprised us, climbing up ladders and swinging on the big girl swing!
On a cooler morning during Eli's therapies we went outside to do a little long jumping. (hooray for the Olympics!) Bug-love found two bugs "making babies!" and decided to throw them a wedding.
Bubbalicious working hard at therapies!
Solar ovens with friends
So for this and many other reasons we no longer talk about 'school time'. It's now learning time and sometimes it's structured, sometimes it's not but either way it happens all the time because living is learning and growing!
I have been asked countless times how I'm "holding up" with homeschooling. I'm never quite sure how to take this. It's either said with a dubious look as if I will implode any minute with the supposed pressure I'm under or it's said with an unwarranted admiration as if I'm Atlas carrying the world on my shoulders. It's neither. I'm certainly not a Titan and if I'm imploding, I'm doing it with great pleasure.
I suppose this is coming on the heels of everyone returning to school. I hear conversations of the relief that parents are experiencing with the kids gone for longer stretches than a bathroom break! I remember that feeling as well, the summer was fun for the first 2, possiblely 3 weeks but it quickly fell into the chaos of bored children with nothing to do but pick on one another. Admittedly when we first started there was a definite period of adjustment, I'd quickly nip the fighting in the bud by sending them on a quick run to the stop sign and back, or giving them a chore no matter how menial because if you have energy to fight .... After three months they seemed to figure out it wasn't worth it and THEY became better at occupying themselves in productive and fun activities.
We had one such morning so I set them to the task of washing the van. Guess who forgot to fight and ended up in some wet fun!
As for space for myself, I had determined early on to ensure I had girl nights at least 2-3x a month, I maintain a 3-5 days per week of exercise which does a ton for me. (Yes, this nerdy, bookworm girl has become addicted to exercise) Finally I make sure I have an hour each and every day that is MY time. The kids are occupied with electronics and the littlest is napping and that glorious hour is spent on things that feed me.
This cutie had to get in on the action!
Most often that means I'm playing a digital puzzle to help with my neurotic obsession with control and order. (If only all problems and people were like a puzzle!). But often it spent for me to learn and grow. I've loved listening to podcasts (my favorites being TED talks and Malcolm Gladwell's Revisionist History) and even Kent and I spend out "free" TV time watching documentaries. Asking education a part of living for my kids has really rubbed off on us.
He greatest thing that has resulted from all of this is how it has changed us, our family and how we view the world. We've always wanted our children to be more globally minded and with more time we've begun delve deeper into certain subjects. Our latest was on Helen Keller. We took the time to draw a picture in a pitch black room. While we laughed at our funny creations and talked how we used our sense of touch to figure out where to put the sun and flowers and tree, it suddenly became serious when we talked about the pictures being produced by someone who is blind. We took time to learn some braille and Isaac even learned how complicated it compose messages with it. Then we added another layer by telling them to imagine them not only being blind but deaf also. It has made them more sympathetic to those that struggle with things typical people don't - ultimately it has helped them understand their brother more.
Of course this and many other projects take away from the little things I did to keep the house in my preferred neurotic order. We're busy with so many things that I delegate to the older two. The vacumming of the floor isn't nearly half as thorough, crumbs are everywhere when making toast and books lay all over the house. In the end I'm learning to be okay with 'crumbs in the butter' moments because I know the process of growing and learning is more important than the end result.
So glad to be on this journey with these munchkins. Now that we've found a rhythm it's a good fit for us and we have more opportunities to make memories together. The little irritations of imperfect life can't hold up in the face of these things!
These two went camping with Baba on a ward campout. It was lovely to get to somewhere cooler so they could romp as children ought to do at their age.
Memories are the best when shared with friends.
We'd love to do this as a family but until we can get the logistics of a familiar home base (perhaps a camp trailer) figured out for Eli's comfort and security, it will have to wait . Until then I'm grateful they have these memories to share with Kent. He's the best Baba ever!
I remember how years ago I have discovered I was pregnant with her that I felt terrified because I had only brothers and had no idea how to raise a girl. Now I'm so grateful to have her and she has opened up a world to me that is beautiful because we share the bond of being women.
The day began with her requested breakfast berries and whip cream on pancakes. She opened her gift and with all her newfound skills of braiding she now has a means to practice without torturing her little sister who has struggled to keep the little hair that she has!
We did our family lunch at Peter Piper's Pizza and had plenty of fun with the games. Bubby snuggled up to watch some Olympic basketball
This year's cake theme was a butterfly but the hardest thing was she wanted an ice cream cake. I played around with ideas while she was gone on a campout I tried my hand and layering the two and decorating quickly with real whipped cream and candies. She was pretty happy with the results.
A small birthday playdate was planned with her requested tea party with butterfly cookies, PB&J or grilled cheese sandwiches. The girls had a blast playing dress up and Isaac had fun with his friend Santi who was due back to Honduras with his cousin Cami the following day. Those two were some of the best summer playmates for my kiddos!
She is really becoming such a lovely young woman! Since we've begun to homeschool she's blossomed in ways without the added weight of social drama and anxiety. She's sensitive and eager to learn, particularly when it comes to things that bring about greater social awareness. She has always been generous to everyone around her, particularly her siblings no matter how annoying they may be. There's a power when an individual discovers their own inherent worth as a child of God and I've seen her grow in that way. I'm so proud to be her Mama and she has taught me much in her brief 7 years. I'm sure she'll be an amazing woman someday!
I've debated for quite some time now whether or not to homeschool Bubby. There are so many aspects that worry me, whether I can organize myself to do it effectively without taking away from the other kids, will I have the resources at hand to help physically, emotionally, socially and academically, the list goes on. It's every special needs parent's load to carry and no matter what that just never really goes away.
It wasn't until I received the end of the school year 'gift' of a picture of Bubby at school.
I knew that he never laughed much for them, but I thought that it was his reserved nature. Looking at this picture it all became clear. He was sad, withdrawn and so terribly unhappy. I guess I should have seen the signs, how grumpy he was coming home, how disconnected and tired. I was battling the conflicting messages I was receiving from him teachers and aides, they felt he was adjusting much better this year, but on reflection I wonder if it just wasn't more of his being 'consigned to his fate' as Keila so often likes to say as of late. It was taking more work to draw him out even on the weekends at home, a certain sullenness that must have been hard to bear as a child - especially a child with no words express it.
So much of my summer has been spent researching, asking people, even attending part of the AFHE convention on homeschooling special needs. I mentioned it to all his therapists and they watched him carefully over the first few weeks of summer. Just three weeks ago all three of my therapists have said they've seen a change in him, a lightening up, a willingness to learn and engage. I saw it too, how much eye contact he would make, how playful he was again and his clear attempts at communicating his needs. It was as if he woke out of a depression of sorts and with it has come a growth that is leaps and bounds more than any IEP can truly measure. Despite my reservations it was clear to everyone that he would learn more and be happier here at home. My anxieties could not stand in the way of what was best for him, besides I have so often stated that with God all things are possible and now I simply had to put that faith to the test.
I love watching him listen to his music. His face takes on an expression depending on the mood and his movements have a certain grace that make me smile. He feels the music deeply. I've tried many times to catch him on my camera, but he freezes the moment he sees it so sadly these are the only ones I've managed that really capture how much music affects him.
In this next one you see him anticipating the change in music. He just makes me smile!
With all this, we decided to enroll him in music therapy. It seemed pretty crazy for the 5 of us to show up in a tiny room to bang on drums and sing with two other kids with special needs. It was a little harried at first but somehow my typical three have been good models for the others - especially tiny Pumpkin who loves to participate. Bubby has also settled down and often gets off my lap to jump and dance enthusiastically. I've learned how rhythm helps to calm many of the children and helps to 'order' the brain. It's all things I can add to my growing curriculum designed specifically for Bubby.
He has begun to want to play with others which is so encouraging. For the longest time we had a set of Frisbees that Isaac and I would throw to each other when the weather was cooler. Bubby must have remembered and often fished out a Tupperware lid and would throw it to the best of his ability. Once he figured out that if he gave us a turn he'd have a playmate he was all giggles and smiles. I passed it off to Pumpkin one day and though anxious as the slower pace of his sister, he allowed us all to take turns. When I had to leave to help one of the kiddos, they two continued the fun. This is what I captured on the camera.
Darned if all my kiddos aren't just so self conscious around a camera. She was laughing as loud as he was, if only I could have recorded without her seeing it!
It's not just with siblings I've seen this change, but also with other kids. One of our therapists told me of a special needs storytime at the Agave Library just 12 mins from our home. It was perfect, a smaller group with dimmer lighting and quietier place full of sensory toys, a visual calender of each activity they would do and a predictability that had Bubby at home quickly. At the end there is always some time to play with toys and friends and the circular sensory pads were his favorite. He'd lay them out like at physical therapy and jump from one to the next. This caught on with another typical kiddo who'd follow along and together, they'd laugh and clap for each other. It was all good until the other boy decided he wanted to move a pad. Bubby firmly pushed his hands away and then collected all his pads to play in another corner of the room. I reminded him to share and he grudgingly relinquished one for this little friend.
In addition I began researching water therapy. While Bubby does well with many textures, our main concern now is how he integrates all of this in doing a task. Our minds easily weed out unnecessary info like the feel of the breeze while still maintaining our focus on a task. We didn't know how well Bubby was doing with this and since water therapy gives a wealth of sensory feed back, it seemed worth the investment for an above ground pool for the whole family. Our physical therapist loaned us her large flotation device (fondly named Fishy) which Bubby loves to climb on and ride. It's working his core, arms and helping him with anticipating movement as he dips and floats. I often have him play other games like catching and tossing rings to each other or simply jumping and stopping according to instructions. It's been great fun for all of us and lots of learning for him.
He's still quite a monkey, he's figured out how the baby proofing stuff works and taught his sister as well! Our island has become their favorite place to hid and obviously everything inside had to go!
The other things that makes all of this homeschooling possible is our Kera Forrest, our newest respite worker! We were terribly sad to lose Ms. Marni, but so happy to have Kera. Incidentally Kera is Marni's sister. The transition has been a breeze thankfully. He was gigging and playing with her this morning which will make her job so much easier. I'm hoping to develop a learning schedule of sorts for her to work with him. Interspersed with doing Geminii, shapes and colors there will be lots of play and games all geared to helping him in all areas of therapies. Weekly therapies and almost daily visits with Kera in addition to our own work makes for quite a team. We are so grateful for our blessings and resources!
With all of this I can't wait to see how he blooms and grows this next year. We grow right along with him! I remember when Isaac was first born how terrified I was about being a parent. Time and experience have taught me that we are inspired as we desired to help these little beings in our care because we love them so much. We really can be their best teachers and advocates as we trust that inspiration/instinct/gut response that we feel they need and find the courage to push for it. Doors open along the way, the team grows and life is richer for it!
