Thankful

For thanksgiving we drove up to Vegas to visit with my old roomamate and her family. It's a rare thing when both husband, wife and kids match so well with ours exactly. Isaac had the big brother he always wanted to discuss Beyblades with, Keila had a big sister to learn from and a little sister to be silly with and Eli had adoration from a new set of siblings and their youngest became his partner in cuteness! When we visit the Yangs it a known thing that its a thanksgiving weekend and not just a day. We eat, sleep, play mahjong and repeat. I'm positive I've gained 10 lbs over the those 3 days!

Some simple fun in the backyard while Kari and I ready dinner.

Uncle James and Auntie Sam

It's that time of the year where my plate overfloweth! (Figuratively and literally!). We have so much going on I barely have item to record it but a visit from uncle James and auntie Samantha must not go unrecorded. As Isaac phrased it, "things are better, ten times better, even a hundred times better when they're here!"


The Canadian couple came out of the cold to join us for a week where we shopped, ate out, visited "a-doi-ah-ble" animals and played and played! In the evenings with the kiddos in bed, we chatted late into the night. There's a twelve year gap between James and I so by the time I went to college, on a mission and married, I never really got the chance to know him. It was fun to chat about memories we had of things so many years ago as well as to see in that some things remain the same. It was also a blast for me to have a "sister" with whom I could commiserate the idiosyncrasies of the Ngai boys! I liked having the excuse to shop for myself again. Having been mostly surrounded by boys all my life, I really relish girl-time and Keila seemed to enjoy it too!

First stop was to the state fair where Keila could love on some animals and of course our nearby park and pet store.

The kids were spoiled with gifts and playmates! They worked on breaking James into the frenic pace of childhood and took to Sam like a peanut butter to jelly. Elias especially liked Sam and would allow her to hold him, feed him and play with him. James tried to hold him a few times but Eli would not have it. I consoled James with the fact that Eli rarely takes so easily with strangers and besides, he had an adoring fan in Sunshine who took to marking him nightly with her scent glands in her chin. Someow this was not quite as pleasing to him!

The rest of the pictures were taken at the children museum. The initial ones are of a massive structure that people can climb and explore. I told Kent it reminded me of a cross between a construction site/nightmare/Dahli painting with its surreal bathtub with wings or a boat with legs hanging off the bottom with bizarre socks and shoes! It was fun to climb though and the kids had a blast doing crafts and playing.

The couple managed a two day trip out to the Grand Canyon and posted some beautiful pictures to their blog. James also took the chance to buy tickets to a hockey game so on their finally evening just the adults went out to dinner and Kent and I had a night out clothes shopping while I texted James through the hockey game tempting him to let Sam join us instead!

We all had a wonderful time and in Isaac's sentimental teary way he said we HAD to visit with them again soon. I couldn't agree more! (Hint, hint)

Halloween Mice, Mermaids and Ninjas

It's begun, it's that crazy time of year where no matter how much I cut back, life is still a whirlwind of activity! I had entertained ideas of getting the kids into costume and dong a photo shoot at the park but reality hit and with sinus infections and guests coming into town the day after I settled for these single shots.

Isaac has hit a new phase where taking pictures of his is not cool. He's rather adamant about it, enough that it attracts the opposite of what he wants. While attending a friends reception recently he kept dodging the camera that made the photographer even more determined to get a picture. I'm glad she suceeded where we didnt on this night. Suffice it to say he has continued with his obsession with ninjas. Unfortunately the costume I made last year had fallen apart so we bought one for this year.

Eli was our famous Mickey Mouse sans the ears. He would only tolerate so much silliness from us apparently

Keila continues her fascination with mermaids but this costume was a keeper since it allowed her the much coveted tail. After the night of trick or treating she conceded that being a mermaids weren't made for trick or treating unless it was in water.

La sigh, perhaps I'll manage those shots next year!

Mourning with Perspective

Yes, I've been a little absent these last two month. Between the holidays, visiting and having visitors and a few assessments for Eli I've been a little worn and in process I've decided I was in mourning.

The whole process of mourning is hard to explain. We all do it to some degree or another, it's depth varies on the experience but the one thing I've decided is very universal is the fact it not one of those deals you can just check off a list. It kind of like laundry never fully done, sometime your on top of it and other times it piles up - and it stinks. So I took a break from blogging to figuratively sort and clear through the mess.

Recently there were some major changes in our congregation. Simply put our ward had grown too large and boundaries needed to be rearranged so that the limited buildings could provide the services needed to a growing number of people. With that change Kent and I found ourselves deeply missing the weekly contact we had with some of the people that have been our adopted family these last 10 years. Not to say we don't enjoy our new ward and the possibilities of new friendships, but people knew us so well that little needed to be said and people would step in to help or serve. This was most apparent with Elias attending the nursery. Up until this point we had a lady who is the grandma of the ward who kept and eye out for him. She knew what he could eat and what to watch for, he was comfortable with her enough that we could leave him to attend our meetings and as far as we knew he was doing well. Despite not being in the same congreapgation, I think Sister Young will always be our grandma!

Here she is with Eli who has grown so comfortable with her to snuggle up right away. All of my children insist on visiting her whenever possible.

Suddenly he had new faces, more children, unfamiliar surroundings and people. It was a challenge for him so Kent and I opted to be in there to help. It was in that setting, next to his peers that kent and I finally saw clearly what makes a child with DS different. He struggled to sit, interact appropriately with peers especially during snack time and of course there was the anxiety during and after nursery he displayed. I knew cognitively that he would always be behind developmentally from his peers, but seeing it brought my fears into sharp focus.

These darling little children couldn't understand why their peer was smacking so hard in greeting, or why he enjoyed grabbing their food and throwing it around the room. What was even harder was the fact they knew that this was wrong but somehow this kid was getting away with it with only a minor reprimand. The responses from these innocent children were difficult for me to take in. I brought to the forefront some of the fears we all have for our children, will others understand them, love them, see past their weaknesses.

Here he is being his mischeiveous self!
It didnt help that only recently we had an occupational therapy assessment and Eli was placed at about an 8-9 month in development, far below where I hoped and low even by DS standards. We've fallen between the cracks of an ever changing system and not had the therapies we've needed, relying on books and others. Our middle child was struggling too, acting out and having nightmares regularly. She too had fallen through the cracks with all the time her brothers took up and was in desperate need of attention. I felt the weight of a parent who was not doing enough and it came crashing down at a difficult time of year.

Life is never quite what we picture it to be. I pictured things would be a lot more predictable, like color coded schedule, such and such will occur between the hours of 3 and 4, etc. My life had been that way before and it was how i stayed on top of things. Now I was hopelessly swimming against the tide, only to pop my head out for a breath and go back under again.

So I'm mourning my lack of competence and in forced humility I acknowledge these children were not mine first but His. Ultimately He will make up for what I do/cannot do. In the process I've realized that my reliance on God has made His presence more 'real' and as my children grow, I hope they feel that too. I pray that someday my children will see me, fully human doing the very best I can and I pray that I can let go of what I think I should be and accept that I am doing wonderful things now.

I recently met a mom at the zoo whose daughter has 2Q37 deletion syndrome. In essence her child is missing part part of chromosome 2, a random event which results certain facial features, low tone (like in children with DS) along with much other difficult symptoms including congenital heart disease and Wilms' tumor. We spotted each others children and suddenly we were strangers no more, talking about our love for them and lamenting insurance woes and feeding issues. This condition is so rare that there only about 100 known cases, though the number is growing due to social media awareness. She began a blog dedicated to her little girl and I took the time to peruse it.

Such a lively little gal! Eli, in his shy and introvert way took some time to open up but he soon followed in her footsteps, smiling and greeting everyone she took them to meet!

With all that she has going on she has not had the chance to post often and yet her small efforts have begun a support group and encouraged others to begin blogs of their own and lend support or a sympathetic ear. She may not know it or feel it, but she is doing a wonderful thing!

The experience also gave me perspective. I do and will continue to mourn certain things in this life, but I have faith that all things God will use toward something greater than my human eyes can perceive. It also gives me hope that all our efforts no matter how small will make me and ultimately my family better people - and perhaps it just reach even beyond us.

My little man trying his best to take some giant steps! Don't we all do that sometime? I'm cheering for him and his efforts all the way!