Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Mother's Love

People say that a mother's love is blind. I've come to think of it differently, that perhaps a mother's love sees with the truest sight there is. She sees a child of God, she sees God given potential before it is there. When that child behaves poorly or makes terrible choices, she still knows that is not who they are and despite pain or frustration she loves regardless of the acts. Her love is akin to Gods love - imperfect
as it is - that we can give or receive as flawed human beings. This doesn't mean I do an award winning job of it -I'll be the first to admit it but it does mean that in all the loving we give our best at that moment and God makes up for the rest.

All these thoughts are churning through me because of an experience I had today while aiding at the preschool. I have been a little shelter and naive about how people would receive Elias. I am blessed to be surround by those who see past his diagnosis of Down Syndrome. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive but I was hurt today by the responses of some women's to my son. It was a busy day in the nursery, we had six children and four of them were new to the room. There was the expected crying and sadness, but out came the binkies, blankets and stuffed animals. Soon everyone was distracted and asettled. I had the job of changing all the diapers while the others handle the food for sanitary purposes. It just seemed to be one of those days where there was a constant flood (pun intended!) of diaper issues and I couldn't get any time with any children, let alone my son. The joy/trial of a child with Down Syndrome is that they are often so content to lay quietly that they become neglected.

Since I was busy I asked one of the moms to feed my soon. I briefly explained that he had DS and taught her how to support him so as to help him eat a little easier. There is now a look, typically of pity, that I've grown use to but I brushed it off. She didn't do much beyond that and I simply thought she might not be a motherly type but then later I saw her cooing to another child exactly the same age as Elias. It bothered me a little but I thought it might be due to a lack of education on her part. I shared with the other moms what I had been learning from our physical therapist and made particular mention that all children, but especially children with special needs needed to have attention and stimulus to encourage them in their development.

It was apparent that two of the gals had signed up together hoping for plenty of chat time and for a baby fix. It gave me hope that they might enjoy snuggling my son but even when all the children were happily occupied, no one checked on my son. At several points during the two and a half hours I had to direct one of them to place a toy in Elias hand that had fallen from his reach. The other six month old child was constantly picked up and held when he wanted nothing more than to inchworm his way across the floor. He'd squirm out of their arms while my son laid there, in sight totally unoccupied and unnoticed while I was too busy to give him some love. Thankfully one of the three women there noticed my distress and finally held him and spke to him. I was so grateful to her for this small but gracious act.
Elias loves splashing in the bath.

This is the first time I have really felt gap and longed to connect to another who had a child that may not have the perfect body but certainly had as precious a soul as any other child. I ached inside and held Elias all through his afternoon nap with a deeper tenderness than usual as if to make up for this morning. I realized that to some degree these women may not have been comfortable with him and this affords me a chance to educate others about people like him. But it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me that they couldn't see what I saw and give him that SOME love and care.

I now understand why Rick and Abby Smith or Kelle Hampton write their blogs. I now truly see that there is a need to educate others and though my reach is small perhaps it will ripple out and make a difference somewhere or for someone. I am so excited for this weekend to attend the Buddy Walk. Without saying a word I know these people will understand my heart.
This is one of my favorite shots. Elias usually clams up when I take the camera out. I was changing bed sheets and fluffed them up around him just for fun. Apparently he liked it too and we did it for another 15 mins. It took a while to finally change sheets, but I'm just fine with that. That time was priceless spent playing with my angel heart!


  1. That breaks my heart. I don't think people know the effect that there actions have on others. He is so handsome and is so lucky to have a sweet mommy like you, You are amazing Flo!

  2. I am sorry that he doesn't got the attention from other Moms. He is blessed with YOU, a wonderful mother who will see the potential beneath the appearance. The love you give him is the most important. I hope I can meet him someday. Love you and miss you!!


  3. It takes an amazing mother to realize their potential and love for their little ones when others do not...I am so very sorry you experienced this sad experience at church, of all places...I had a sweet cousin with DS and the amazing spirit that these little ones have.. are one to behold...she passed from this life way too early, but she left a lasting impression on the entire ward a long with many others...who had the privilege to meet her...that I have NEVER forgotten some of the precious words that were spoken at her funeral, I am so grateful for your comments, they not only inspire me but remind me to check myself and how I behave around others...I truly believe these children are a gift, MARKED/IF NOT KISSED especially by our loving Heavenly Father... to not only protect them from the earthly storm...but to remind those who come in contact with them of the valiant spirits they were in Heaven...THEY WERE the STRONGEST, THEY WERE the bravest, THEY WERE the PUREST of spirits...They stood against Satan...I Honestly believe this with every fiber of my being...YOU HAVE A GIFT that many do not understand, you are right to want to educate others, but remember YOU were blessed with this angel from our LOVING HEAVENLY FATHER, soak it in enjoy the moments, learn from the difficult ones and move forward in your fight to inspire and teach others how blessed you are to have such an incredible being in your home...You must have been an amazing angel to our Father in Heaven to be given such a rare gem at this time on earth...I always knew you had an incredible spirit Flo, be strong for your little miracle...and smile, we all have to learn and grow from the experiences this life hands us...hang on to the good ones and learn from the ruff ones...heck I need to do the same...I certainly have my own flaws...Thank you...for reminding me of my sweet cousin...Sadie Rose...she is missed...

  4. He is soooo adorable and you are such a great Momma.