We're Just Peachy!

We'd been wanting to go peach picking all month long but Isaac's soccer schedule kept us from it. Saturday of Memorial weekend was our first chance and so we packed a breakfast for the road and headed out early. We meet up with Aunt Wendy and cousin Carly and had a blast picking the rosy juicy fruit.


Eli was on my back for much of it and watched with envy as everyone sampled one or two. We gave him plenty of bites but apparently he felt the injustice of not having his very own and the moment I let him down he grabbed at any fruit withing reach. If I batted his hands from grabbing a fallen peach he'd growl his displeasure and even went so far as to yell at me (a rarity) in his own Bubby way. I finally set him down in the dirt and picked one from the tree just for him. I wish I had the camera on hand to capture the way he sunk his teeth and nose into the fuzzy fruit and his eyes widen in delight. These shot were taken once half the peach was gone - a much less ravenous Bubby!

We also visited the store afterwards to pick up some garden fresh tomatoes, peach salsa, some fudge and lollipops for the road. The place is rather quaint with all its antiques and rows of canned yummies. Had we been able to go earlier we would have enjoyed the peach festival and all the rides and activities that come with it. It's definitely in our plans for next year.

On our way home we asked if the kids wanted to stop for dim sum for lunch. It was a resounding yes!

We topped off the Memorial weekend by making peach ice cream Twice! The first time needed more sugar and more peach flavor. It was more of a cream with a faint taste of peach so we used it to top our peach pancakes. The kids died and went to heaven since they thought I had lost my mind to let them have ice cream for breakfast. (Little do they know that i use to sneak a scoop each morning of vanilla to put in my bowl of cracked wheat cereal! - come to think of it, i dont think my parents ever knew either!)


A few days late I made peach butter to concentrate the flavor and we made a second patch. Much better, this could become a habit! Peach - it's the taste of summer!!

Okay With Being Human

I had the opportunity to attend the Down Syndrome Conference at the Phoenix Childrens Hospital a few weeks ago. I learned a lot and feel more prepared to get Eli ready for the preschool in the public schools in a year. Of course there was the chance to say hello to friends, love on some cutie babies and chat with Gina Johnson. She introduced to me a gal who lives in the Glendale area who is pregnant and has just discovered her baby will have DS. She is a mother of two already and it was obvious she was feeling overwhelmed. I had to admire her being there trying to take in as much information to be prepared for this new little one when I know I would have been at home just trying to process it all.

We chatted for a while, about how Gina is a force of nature and in her enthusiasm she catches you up and whirls you forward. We talked a little about our other children and then I just felt I had to tell her that in all the 'doing' not to forget to take time to mourn. That's when we both broke down and cried a little. I wanted her to know it was okay..... because it really is okay.

Mourning occurs because of loss - of an individual, a job or circumstance. Some losses aren't as obvious, like in the case of a child with Down Syndrome. You experience conflicting guilt, the instinctual fierce feeling that you love your child no matter who or what they are and yet you experience the loss of certain hopes or dreams or even images of what you picture life will be. There's fear in the open unknown. It feels as if acknowledging that feeling somehow lessens your love or taints it and makes you less of a mother when in reality all it does is to affirm our humanity. Loss is loss and mourning is the process that allows us to let go and move on to embrace a new future. No loss is unworthy of this process. I'd rather set aside the everchanging image of a perfect mother and experience it than to stay forever tied to something that may not be and miss the beauty of what will be.

That being said, I mention that things are a process and processes always take time. But I do know from experice that with mourning and with faith (and for me, particularly in God) healing occurs and what replaces it is a deep gratitude for joys and hopes experienced, and those yet to come that I could never have imagined for myself. So as cheesy as it sound, I ascribe to the popular phrase, "better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all".

Before Eli I loved and experience the joys of two typical children, their growth and learning, just the pure joy of discovering life. With the unknown of Eli's diagnosis, I mourned those things, never knowing what and when or even if I would see those things in his life. Now I love that I have lost those expectations and in it is a new sense of wonder because nothing is taken for granted any more, no achievement is small. It is replaced by the sense of awe at life, our souls, that God can do so much with so little and that joy can be immeasurable.

Little man looking so grown up as we wait for a ride home from the dealership.

I felt I had to write this post and just to let others know its okay to mourn. Life is a journey and experiencing the moment - good or bad - and moving onward with hope is what makes the sweeter taste sweeter because I know the bitter. I'm okay being just human!

18 Weeks

Hallelujah! I've finally had one whole week without major nausea and fatigue! I'm officially 18 weeks now and it's hard to believe that in two more weeks I'll be half way! I'm afraid between the 2 1/2 hours of daily napping and 10 hour sleeps at night I had very little time or energy for blogging. Kent and I joked about me becoming narcoleptic because the moment the kids were in bed and I could just sit on the couch, I was out cold. It was lovely though to wake up in the mornings to see my wonderful husband clean the kitchen for me. I'm grateful to finally be back to some more regular hours and the house looks a little less chaotic.

The old ultra sound photo from 11 weeks

The nausea went hand in hand with the fatigue and it was rather depressing not to take comfort in food. I'd take the time to cook easy meals (went through an especially Japanese/Asian phase) and would only be able to eat a bite or two before I'd have to leave the table and distract myself from the heaving motions of my stomach. On a side note the kids and hubby loved chicken katsu and i finally figured out the missing ingredient to my miso soup. My weight dropped at least 10 lbs below my per-pregnancy weight. This week I've been satisfied to see it start rising again and everyone is happy that strawberries and ice cream no longer give me the shakes!

While the kiddos went through a round of sharing fevers I took some time to add a splash or two to some cheap maternity finds and was rather pleased with the results.


We've been discussing names as a family. Of course the kids are giving all sorts of silly names, such as ladybug, toothless, polka dot, etc. I tried to drive home the point of it being something she wouldn't get teased over by saying ",if we name her ladybug someone might want to put her in a jar" or, " if we call her polka dot, people might poke her dots!" Keila finally understood and suggested the name Emily. Hopefully now we'll get better input when we bring up the subject.

Belly shot at 18 weeks.

It hit Kent and I that we really only have 6 months to get everything in place. We need to move the boys to a smaller room and get bunk beds. I shudder to think of adjusting Eli to a big boy bed and the freedom afforded him with his 6am wake ups. A nutty part of me wants to paint the girls room pink with my new found energy so at least one of my children will have a room finished when they come into this world. Ah, so much to do and with time passing too quickly. In two weeks we do our ultrasound, the first chance the kiddos have of seeing their sibling. The excitement mounts!

May happenings

Too much happening and I have to wonder how we'll survive once baby girl is here! Our favorite Grandma asked for a ride to Bellair ward picnic and since we always like to visit with old friends, we couldn't resist!

The kids have spent time alone with her often. Isaac has a birdhouse he's painting with her and Keilas's done a few crafts too. Sometimes I bring over a lunch and we picnic with Helen and her dog Buster. She's such a blessing to me, just one less kiddo on and off does wonders for my sanity!

Mother's Day was spent being spoiled by everyone. Kent prepped dinner and I was given many gifts by my cutie pies. This picture is just a few.

Later that evening we all tested out our newly renovated bathroom and new jet tub. Keila says it's like having a nice warm, bubbly blanket that turns you into jello! It was a lot of stimulus for Eli but he definitely was just a lump after it! Afterwards older two built a fort styled spa wherein I laid on pillows to receive a rather unique massage. I had to smile at the gesture, it was very thorough and meant to relax me but I think I ended up with more tickes and giggles than anything else.


Keila had her last school day with her friends and we enjoyed a swim party with her classmates. She was a little fishy calmly swimming from one point to another while classmates would scream jumping in or flounder floating by clinging to a noodle. Eli enjoyed the pizza there and flirted with everyone in sight.



Isaac also had his kindergarten celebration. Unfortunately keila came down with a fever and Eli had just gotten over his so ken opted to stay home so Isaac and I could have a night out. We hit Rita's where he was stuffed to the brim with custard and Italian ice and then he had a blast chatting and hugging friends in his rather exuberant manner. I was funny to me how he'd pick them up/hug from behind and the kid would automatically yell, "Isaac!" And then giggle. Obviously this occurs rather frequently and there was no way to contain his energy. I couldn't get him to stop long enough for pictures! I'm glad though that he is so winsome and enjoys so many friends. This was the oly shot we could get that our friends got of us. Isaac wasn't too happy to hold still and miss friends passing by!


Eli and I managed to meet up with a few friends from Sharing DS of AZ at Oasis gym for powerhour. It's like having an hour of PT for our kids for only $5. Instead of working so hard to motivate them to work certain muscles, we expend our energy keeping them contained! Once we meet up with Emily and his little man, and another time it was with Kelli and her son. Out kids were so tuckered out afterwards and I'm sure they napped well.


Isaac's soccer season ended and unfortunately he was to sick to attend the swim party with his friends. We were glad to get some pictures the week before of the whole team and I had his friends sign his jersey as a parting gift.


It's a good end to a school year and we look forward to the summer of fun!

Baby #4 ..... Is A ....?

Keila has always insisted she has a baby sister. Even after Eli was born, her pictures at preschool would show an added person with large head, long hair with a tiny torso. When asked about it she would consistently state it was her baby sister. Needless to say, this pregnancy had revived all dreams of this phantom sister and most times shed adamantly state it was a girl, there were moments of doubt and in those moments she was quick to vocalize her feelings if she should be fated with another brother. "Heavenly Father better give me a baby sister or I'm going to be super, duper mad at him! I WON'T love the baby unless its a girl!" And the list goes on and on. At her more humble moments she'd say she would prayer for a baby sister.

Kent and I didn't really care at this point except for how her response might be should she be surprised by the baby's gender at birth. My last major blood test screened for trisomys via Fetal DNA shed into the mothers bloodstream. It is controversial and quite new (only a year or so) but it was required due to my geriatric gravida (old age pregnancy) and our history with Eli's birth. More of piece of mind for my obgyn and our insurance, I think. Anyhow, the gender is also able to be determined and I asked for it without too much ceremony. If keila needed to grieve, it ought to be sooner rather than later, for all our sakes!

I came home in in a serious voice informed her the doctor said she would have a baby sister. She tilted her head to the side as she registered the news and then a grin spread across her face. She jumped up and hugged me yelling," I've always wanted one of those!!" And cheered.

This was our very first picture of our little gal back at the beginning of April. I'm currently 16 weeks along and scheduled for another ultrasound so we'll have an updated picture soon.

So perhaps she's known all along and in which case we've had fair warning that there would be a fourth child. Now begins the fun of the name game and I can begin shopping for all the items we gave away. It some ways it's nice to know its a girl .... they're ever so much more fun to shop for than boys!